How To Teach The Way Through Society Better Than Anyone Else

How To Teach The Way Through Society Better Than Anyone Else


The desire to please is, of course, the foundation of social connection. Persons who enter society intending to make an impression and being heard, no matter how intelligent they are, are never agreeable. They are often irritating and sometimes absurd. People who approach life with such lofty expectations have little chance of improving themselves or benefiting from the experience. They are not in a proper state to observe; in reality, they are only interested in the effect they achieve, which does not always satisfy them. They insert themselves into all conversations, tell endless jokes that are only broken up by boring disquisitions, listen to others with impatience and heedlessness, and are irritated that they seem to be attending to themselves. Such love nothing as they pass through scenes of pleasure. They are both unpleasant to themselves and others. As a result, young men should be comfortable with being themselves. Allow them to present themselves with reasonable assurance: allow them to listen, hear, and examine, and they will soon rival their models.

The attribute that a young man should most emphasize in his interactions with gentlemen is decent modesty; nevertheless, he must avoid all bashfulness or timidity. His flights must not be too long, but they must be distinguished by complete assurance.

When dealing with people who are much older than you, show the utmost respect and deference. They can be quickly swayed by a bit of reference when they find themselves slipping out of value.

The most critical aspect to consider is the ease of manner. Grace may be inserted later or omitted entirely; it is much less necessary than is generally thought. Perfect propriety and complete ease are adequate requirements for social status and numerous prerequisites for distinction.

There is a fine line between civility and intrusiveness, familiarity and commonplace, pleasantry and sharpness, the natural and the rude, joy and carelessness; hence society’s annoyances and its members’ errors. To describe these distinctions well in behavior is the great art of a man of the world. It is simple to know what to do; the trick is determining what to stop.

Prolonged use, a kind of moral magnetism, a tact acquired by frequent and long association with others alone gives those qualities that keep one always from error and entitle him to a thorough gentleman’s title.

When a young man first joins society, he should choose well-known people for their propriety and elegance of manners. He should hang out with them and model his behavior after them. There is an unconscious tendency in all, as noted by Horace and Dr. Johnson, to mimic flaws, so they are more easily observed and followed. There are
also several manner defects and refinements of affectation that would be repulsive to another while appealing to one person. Some manners would not complement another person with a different personality. Good sense is necessary for effective imitation in any area. It is essential to correctly recognize the natural differences between your model and yourself and incorporate any copy changes compatible with it.

Let no man think that he can easily attain the attributes that will make him a gentleman. It is essential not only to exert the highest level of art but also to achieve the higher achievement of concealing art. The character’s serene and exalted integrity are the product of untiring and arduous work.

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Author: TMTanedo

TMTanedo is a graduate of AB Political Science major in Policy Management at the University of Makati, Philippines. He earned 52 units in Master in Business Administration at the Cavite State University, Imus Campus. He is privately employed in the Healthcare Service, a content creator, a blogger, and a website designer.

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